


The Various Endeavors of the League of Lunatics

by lclghost



Category: Broken Reality Server - Fandom, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: 2nd Person, Almond milk, Broken Reality, Demons, Found Family, Gen, General tomfoolery, Laundromat, Memes, POV, Sonas, alternative universe, bastards, demonic gumball machines, guess this makes this a horror comedy?, horroresque but only for comedic reasons, its out of order and im not fixing it, lmao league of losers, no regards for timelines here, postal office, postal service, tired characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 10,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25978819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lclghost/pseuds/lclghost
Summary: From deep within the chaos of the vaults in Broken Reality, stemming from the power of a BNHA server, a world is born. A world of quirks, of unions against powers of order, to cause chaos and disarray. 5 members slapped with the Permavaulted role join forces, recruiting others to follow in their footsteps, as the League of Lunatics is born.Now, a month later, the mysterious 6th member emerges from the shadows of the vaulted.Heaven help us.
Relationships: Ghost | Faerie & Durple | Ring Leader, Hekate (BR) & The League of Lunatics, Persona (BR) & The League of Lunatics
Comments: 36
Kudos: 19
Collections: Broken Reality Server





	1. Disclaimer?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [deadburritochortles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadburritochortles/gifts), [Durple](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Durple/gifts), [Cryptic_Crypto_Cryptids](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cryptic_Crypto_Cryptids/gifts), [Von1508](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Von1508/gifts).



> bro this was owoified. Here's the [real story](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25494970/chapters/61847194)

Hey, just a heads up:  
  
 **Broken Reality Server - Fandom** merged with the BNHA fandom tag. Which I guess isn't entirely inaccurate, but most people don't know what BR is. 

Broken Reality started a few months ago as a false au on tumblr, specifically dealing with 5 well known bnha fic writers (Moonpaw, Cyber, Owlf45, Lolli, and Gentry, i believe...) The whole premise is 'the au that doesn't exist', and it escalated quickly. A server was created, which gained hundreds of members within it's first 3 days. Shortly after, a collaborative fic was planned...

I never heard about that fic again. Apparently it's posted?

During the months of summer freedom, chaos ran rampant within the Broken Reality Server. However, it was obvious there was a shift away from the BR au itself, and more towards a generalized BNHA server. (All the BR au channels are just chillin)

The general chaos stemmed around a certain group of people. Specifically, a moderator and a group of people who had the role _permavaulted._ Cursed things piled upon each other, and eventually there was a mock rivalry between the mod and the permavaulted.

And organization was created on July 16th of 2020, under the noses of the entire server. 5 people were in the group.

A day later, but before the Big Reveal, I joined that organization.

Later that day, the organization revealed itself to the public of the server: League of Lunatics, where all 5 _public_ members were permavaulted.

They had a 'spy'

Hi that spy is me, a moderator for the broken reality server. A lot of time has passed from that big reveal of LOL, and many stories have followed. An establish BNHA au was formed, where personas of BR server members live in a town known as Truth or Consequences in Ohio. Most of the fics in the BRS-F tag are about this universe. 

Which _some_ people need to post their stories (not to name any names)/j

But yeah, if you're interested, there's a link in the end notes


	2. Horrors of a Laundromat

They say there's a laundromat where reality just isn’t the same. In a rundown part of town, where the birds scream and the lights just aren't the same colour. No one knows how the laundromat got there, and yet it sits at the corner of the street.

The doors are always unlocked, yet you will never see anyone leave or enter. If you walk in, all seems normal at first.

It’s not as normal as it seems.

The lady behind the counter will trade you ten dollars for a bag of pennies. She will never tell you how many pennies you got. You might get the feeling even she doesn’t know, and you're probably getting scammed. Never question it. 

The washing machines all have their coin slots fitted for pennies. It only takes four pennies a load, and is decent quality… never add the store’s detergent, rumour has it your clothes will come out slightly different. No one knows what it is until they get home; a size bigger, a different colour, a slightly different pattern… it’s always something.

Don't question it. Is for the best.

Never eat the M&Ms from the vending machine. All of them are purple, eat too much and you'll wake up outside the doors without any clue how you got there. Consider yourself lucky if you still have your wallet.

There's a jar on a washing machine. The locals say if you kiss the glass, a faerie will grant you one wish.

Never trust the faerie. He speaks lies, twists words. The fanged smile is sweet as honey, but never believe it. 

The faerie works for the higher ups, the ones who run the laundromat. Consider yourself lucky if you survive a run in with the manager. 

Behind the walls, a kid sleeps in the vents. They say he’s the way you get in, if you get past his trials. Not everyone who enters makes it in, but you might not walk out the same. 

A journalist works frantically to write your life in her journal, but no one knows if they come true. Rumour has it she is never wrong about her lore, but you be the judge of that. 

The lady behind the counter hides her mask between her legs, leave if you hear jingle bells. 

If you see seal skin hanging up to dry, never touch it. It belongs to the faerie's friend. They will not forgive you. 

A puppy lives in the laundromat. Feed her treats and you'll meet a higher up, who will gladly thank you. The locals say if you ever meet a higher up, you'll want it to be her. Stay on her good side and pet her dog. 

Don't worry if you think you see yourself in the mirror. It’s not real. 

The League Watches From Behind The Laundromat. 

Respect them. 


	3. Story of the Fairy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me, posting these like more than 7 people actually care about this: (":

My name is Faerie, and I live in a jar. The world around me is different than the one for a person. 

They come and ask me questions, offering corn in return. I give them delight and joy, my purpose is to entertain.

Don't open my lid, I don't need to be freed. Bad things happen when you let a faerie free.

Blue is my theme, everything is blue about me. I'm a simple blue boy, with a knack for stealing pennies from customers.

Rumour has it that I'm the reason why the clothes in the wash change colour. The detergent is called "fairy dust" for a reason, they say. I can't deny this, but don't expect me to confirm it.

After all... I am magical


	4. Willing Audience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GOD LITERALLY ONLY 7 PEOPLE ACTUALLY C A R E

There's something special when a Jester plays a trick on her crowd. 

Her glee when it all goes to plan, the applause of her king and queen.

But long gone are the days a Jester pleases her royal family, her entertaining nature gone with time. She spends her days looking for an outlet, for her chance to finally sell her jokes for her audience.

Cursed ideas sink in, in a form of strings of numbers, coded from the craft of an old language once widely used. It manifests, taunting the people around her, delight and joy taking hold of her soul. 

Images that seem to get closer, the ones you have to double check, they start to appear. She spills ideas, cackling with glee as the others watch with mild horror.

They say "long live the king"

But godspeed the Jester 


	5. POV: You Join The League

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You figured it couldn't be that bad to be a villain...
> 
> Right?

It is a dark, stormy night. A lonely cat stands alone on the corner of the street, licking the dirt off her paws. She is protected by the lip of a roof, sticking out further than it probably should have been, rain bouncing off it like a shield. 

You stand under an umbrella, leaning into the sound of the rain. A long cloak masks the stature of your body, leaving an ambiguous shape in your place.

Staring just across the neon sign beaming through the rain, advertising “OPEN”. A crooked sign is nailed haphazardly to the wall, plain and clear saying “LaundrOmatLy”

Can they not make it anymore obvious?

Apparently the answer is no, since you can see the advertisement to join the “League of Lunatics” clearly taped to the door with care.

Briefly, you wonder if this is a good idea, walking into a known villain organization without telling your friends where you are, with the possibility of not making it back out.

You’ve heard the stories behind this laundromat, the horror tales children love to pass by each other. You also know there is little to no benefits for doing this, you’ll be good as dead if you’re not careful. 

There is no back up plan. They say you never walk out the same if a deal goes wrong with The Fool, or that the Lore Keeper will simply write you out of existence. You aren’t sure if these are even true tales of their quirks, since the information around each member is already fuzzy to begin with.

With a deep breath, you step out onto the street. You can feel the water soak through your thin shoes, making you painfully aware you are going to sound like a slushie by the time you make it to the other side. Like a chicken, you cross the road. 

Sure enough, you reach the door. The windows are all frosted, offering no hints to what lay inside.

You hope it was washing machines, at least let there be one. 

The door rings a chorus of bells as you reach to open it, and your heart freezes. 

Someone stares back at you, a purple daze in their eyes. They are holding a bag of m&ms, all of them suspiciously a bright neon purple in colour. You step to the side and watch them walk straight into the rain, lay down, and proceed to take a nap.

Well then…

  
  


You step inside to see a relatively normal laundromat. Though, you know what you’re looking for. 

The coin slots really are fitted for pennies. The soda machine did only advertise purple cans of coke, sprite, fanta, and water. Odd, you think, seeing purple cans of water.

You find the forbidden purple m&ms and make a mental note to avoid them, less you end up like the person outside on the sidewalk. 

You busy yourself with pulling off your cloak, pulling pocket change out. Before you left, you made sure you placed a handful of pennies in your stash, however as you inspect you come to find they are all gone. Instead, you find a ten dollar bill, crinkled and forgotten, in your back pocket. 

All signs point rationally to leaving. However, you elect to ignore it, and walk to the counter instead.

Sitting behind it is a lady, bored on her phone, confetti in her hair. Quietly, without saying a word, you place a crinkled up ten on the counter. 

Greedy eyes snap up from the blue light of the phone, locking on the ten.

“Looking for change?”

You simply nod without saying a word in reply. She places her phone down and leans over to a mini vault sitting on her desk. As she types the entry code in, you try to subtly lean forward, just to catch a glance of the mask that’s said to be hidden between her legs.

Eyes snapped back to stare at you.

“Now now now,” You flinch back, straighten your posture, “Don’t go looking into things you’re not ready to open.”

You wonder if there are pennies in that vault, judging by the grin on her face.

She leans forward, elbows resting on her desk.

“Are you really here for spare change?”

You feel a lump form in your throat, and yet you still nod.

There is a hum of amusement. 

“Does it have to do anything with the sign on the door?” She takes a piece of confetti out of her hair and twirls it between her fingers. “Are you a spy? For Her?”

You are a bit confused on what she means by “Her”, and she seems to catch onto that.

“Did Cryptic send you? The damn enemy?”

You shake your head.

“Then are you interested in change, or interested in joining. Both cost ten dollars.”

Oh, there’s an entry fee?

“Fool if you keep charging admission you’re going to drive this business to the ground!” A voice from behind you startles you a little, and you turn to see someone with purple hair and a Burger King Crown standing in a half-t-pose, holding a large ring of keys. 

“No I’m not!”

“Yes,” The crown person puts down their arms, letting the keys jangle dramatically. “You are, we don’t need to scare off recruits. The ominous stories do a good enough job as it is.”

The lady huffs and sits back in her chair, snatching the ten and opening her vault door. She presents a bag of pennies to you, and you are not sure if it equates a ten, but you know you’re too lazy to count, so you take what you get.

From behind you, the keys rattle again. 

“So, are you interested in joining?”

You turn to look back to see the person with the crown twirling the comically large ring of keys, a crooked smile on their face.

You hesitate, then nod quietly.

“Don’t talk much, do you?”

You fumble with your bag of pennies, shaking your head. 

“Oh that’s not an issue, that just means you’re not suspect-able! Well, hello, I’m the manager. What’s your name.”

You don’t answer, half because you really don’t talk, the other half is because you have heard stories about run-ins with the manager “never being good”.

A laugh came from the crowned manager.

“Oh right! You don’t talk. Don’t worry, we’ll find you a name.”

Your uneasiness starts to settle in. Oh god you’re joining a scary villain organization. 

They seem to read your mind, which is equally as terrifying as it is reassuring. 

“Oh yeah, and the rumours? Oh those are only half true, people like to make us seem more scary than we actually are. We’re more like…”

“A bunch of idiots!” The lady behind the counter pipes up.

Manager jumps up and down with glee. “Yea! We’re dumb as fuck!”

Ah yea, you’ll fit right in.   
  


“Only… there’s one problem.” They spin the ring of keys around their wrist, tapping their chin. “You need to go through the trials. We only let the best join us. You need to go torment Cryptic.”

You aren’t quite sure who Cryptic is, but that doesn’t seem to bother the manager. Instead, they slip a key off the loop and hand it to you. 

“Here, this is the key to her Inbox at the post office. Go give her an anonymous letter, make it as cursed as possible. I have eyes to let me know if you do it, too, so don’t try to trick me.”

You take the key and stare at it. 

… Is that it?

“Oh, and… don’t mess with the jar.” They gesture to the empty jar sitting atop a washing machine. “The Faerie is well fed with ethically sourced raw corn.”

You don’t know if you are supposed to take that as a joke or as something serious. 

You glance at the jar, wondering if there really is a faerie in the jar, and when you look back… the Manager is gone.

You stand there, unsure of what to do. You didn’t expect to get this far.

Cursed letter… You wonder what qualifies as cursed. And who Cryptic is, and why she is the center of their attention.

No matter, you need to do what needs to be done, so you promptly leave the laundromat. Somehow it’s full daytime outside and the rain has stopped, but the unfortunate person is still passed out on the sidewalk. A child is slipping out their wallet from their back pocket, not caring to make it seem unnoticeable. He looks up at you and shots finger guns, before standing up and popping the wallet in his pocket. He skips into the laundromat without so much as a word.

You mentally note that you shouldn’t bring your wallet with you. Or, possibly, any other valuables. You pat your pockets, just to make your phone is where it is supposed to be. A sigh of relief leaves your lips as you discover that it has not moved. 

As you walk towards the post office, you think about your plan of action. You know nothing of your target, yet you must make a cursed letter to bother her with.

The bothering part doesn’t really ruffle your feathers, metaphorical or physically. Now that you’re outside, you can let golden feathered wings spread out behind you. They’re nothing to boast about, you can hardly lift yourself off the ground with them. You consider them as more of an accessory.

Your quirk has nothing to contribute to a villain organization. It’s rather odd too; your feathers fall out frequently, and you can use the fluff as yarn if you spin it. It’s really comfortable and durable, and you made your cloak from it. The feather spines are useless as weapons, though they make good building material for mini hobbies you and your friends pick up. 

The thing that ruffles your feathers is just figuring out where the inbox is, and what to write. Maybe a hint of who you are? Something in code? Maybe just something different all together?

No ideas come to mind as you walk aimlessly down the streets, leaving the odd aura of the laundromat neighbourhood. No one is out and about, being midday of a work week, so you have the street to yourself.

That’s when the idea hits you, and you bounce on your heels.

Yes, this is perfect. You turn about and dash. Running through the streets, feathers falling to the ground as you whip around corners.

You get to the post office in record time, adjusting your posture as you walk in. No one looks at you as you grab a notepad and pen, write a small letter, and walk up to the wall of inboxes.

One of them was covered in neon smiley faces. Your instincts tell you to try the key on that one first.

Perfect fit, and the inbox opens. You slip your letter inside, giddy delight making you bounce on your toes. 

You dash, without making any effort to cover your tracks. You made sure to lock the inbox too, you figure that it wouldn’t be a good idea to leave evidence. No one stops you, or even says a word. You wonder if the office workers could be connected to the League as you make your way back to the laundromat. 

When you walk in, someone immediately claps a hand on your shoulder. You look down to see the wallet kid beaming up at you.

“That letter was hilarious! So, you wanna join?”

You nod and slip your hand into your pocket to make sure your phone stays in place.

“I’m the Recruiter, but you can call me Burrito if you want! I heard you met our questionable leader already too. Usually you see me first but I was busy doing things.”

‘Things’ which you figure means stealing wallets. You don’t say anything though, just smile.

“You’re funny, you think you have what it takes to commit to a life in a laundromat?” 

You nod. 

“Sweet! I’ll review your application with our members. Wait here!”

And just like that, you are left alone in a roomer full of washers and dryers, as Burrito grabs the Faerie Jar and runs to the back door. 

You stand there for a while. You eventually curiously wonder if the purple can of water tastes like grapes. It can’t hurt you, right?

Then you remember the m&ms and decide to keep your pride and not risk it.

An hour passes. Then two. 

You start to pluck out your feathers, using the spins as needles to gently felt the fluff together. 

Someone walks out, holding a puppy. She smiles and waves at you, then proceeds to leave out the front door without a word. You did coo at the puppy, though. 

Eventually, someone comes to fetch you. It’s the manager, who’s smile has only gotten bigger.

“Congrats! You passed the first test! We’ve decided to name you The Reader, is that okay?”

You nod, standing in shock. You passed?

“Excellent! I’m The Ring Leader, you’ve already met The Wise Fool, The Recruiter, and The Jester. We’ll take you to meet The Lore Keeper. She’ll give you a form to sign, and if you pass, you can meet our Wanderers.”

Wanderers? 

They clap a hand on your shoulder and nudge you forward. You oblige, trusting you probably won’t die. 

Probably… hopefully.

The back of the laundromat is weirdly decorated in “Wanted” posters that all have painted mustaches on them. You recognise the names on it to be matching members of the league you have met, yet there’s personas of question marks instead of actual photos of people. You wonder if the public truly doesn’t know who these people are, seeing as their criminal activity is fairly weak compared to real villains. 

Sitting at a table, doodling in a notebook, is someone you can only assume is The Lore Keeper. She looks in a frenzy, almost like a startled cat.

Without a word, she holds up a paper. In bold, it clearly states what you’re signing for.

**I, The Reader, swear to cause problems on purpose and not snitch to Cryptic.**

**X______________________________**

You pick up a pen on the table, take the paper, and sign it.

Ring Leader claps their hands together. 

“Perfect! Welcome to the League of Lunatics!”

You smile.

  
  



	6. A Broken Jar Hides It's Secrets Well Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> milk thief milk thief milk thief

“Can… can you even breathe in there?”

Finding a faerie in a jar wasn’t something that happened often, if it even did happen. Cryptic was sure her eyes had deceived her when she saw a cracked jar lying sideways on the curb of the road.

Inside, with vibrant teal hair and a pair of dark green wings, a small faerie stared at her. As far as Cryptic could tell, the entire thing was sealed off. The only things inside was a small twig with a couple of leaves, several pennies, some corn kernels, and a half eaten puff of caramel popcorn. The crack hadn’t made it’s way all the way through, and there were no signs of vents leading inside. 

The faerie gave Cryptic two thumbs up and a smile, flipping upside down on it’s twig. Cryptic squinted a little, holding the jar up higher.

“How? Where’s the vent, how can you even hear me?”

She only got a shrug in response. 

Cryptic inspected the jar more closely, in search for any signs of vents or how to open the jar. Instead, she found a small tag wedged between the cork-lid and the glass lip of the jar. It was bright purple, almost a neon eyesore, with silver sharpie sloppily spelling out a message.

“Fae, he/him! If lost, please return to LOL.”

Cryptic stared at the tag for a while, then looked back at the faerie. He was occupied with a piece of raw corn that was bigger than his own hands, curiously sniffing it.

“... You’re the League of Losers’ spy, aren’t you?”

He looked up from his corn, then gave her a thumbs down and shook his head. 

“They literally call you a spy, bud.”

Small jingle bell noises came from inside the jar, muffled by the glass. The faerie’s lips were moving, yet no voice came out. 

“No clue what you’re saying.”

The look of mischief let Cryptic know that it must have been the point.

“If you’re not a spy, then what are you?”  


He held up the piece of corn instead of answering, and took a bite out of it. 

“Gross.”

He shrugged. 

“Can I open the jar? Do you want out?”

They shared a moment of silence, before he tapped the glass and a small cloud fogged up the jar, making the faerie disappear.

Cryptic took that as a no. 

She sighed, not sure what to do. The League never shares explicit information, the only thing she knew about the Faerie is he wasn’t vaulted at any point. Coming in contact with the ‘spy’ herself was unexpected, and she wasn’t as prepared as she thought she was.

Also, who on earth leaves a faerie in a broken jar on the side of the road? 

She took the faerie back to her house with her, unsure of what to do. There was no protocol for this, she didn’t even know that faeries were actually real up until that moment. It probably was a bad idea to invite one into her home, she was probably going to get her name stolen. Or worse, expelled. 

The cloud never went away, still fogging up the inside of the broken jar. The only signs Cryptic got that the faerie was still alive was the occasional jingle bell yelling if she shook the jar too much. 

She set the jar on her kitchen counter, watching it for a bit. Nothing entertaining happened, aside from the occasional car passing by outside. Eventually, she gave up and left the jar to sit alone in the quiet. She went about her day; go to the grocery store, stop and talk with a few friends, swing by the post office and wonder how on earth she’s still getting cursed anonymous letters, knock out some tasks at work. 

Cryptic nearly had forgotten about the faerie in the jar, until she came back to find a person in a giant cat hoodie wearing a black face mask rummaging through her fridge. 

There was a moment of brief eye contact between the two, before the person flashed her a peace sign, grabbed her almond milk, and a cloud puffed up around them.

“HEY WAIT-”

The cloud moved swiftly out of the kitchen, slamming the fridge door shut behind it. Cryptic ran after the cloud, letting out a string of half-curses. 

Mischievous laughs came from the cloud, sounding suspiciously like… Jingle Bells. 

Cryptic skid to a halt and glanced over her shoulder. The jar was gone, in its place was empty air. 

She whipped back around, to catch the sight of a certain someone seated on her window sill. One leg was on the outside, body posed for a quick escape. Tucked in the pocket of the giant hoodie-cloak thing was an empty glass jar with a crack in it. In their hand, there was a carton of her milk, partially drank. 

“Who are you?” Cryptic demanded.

The person laughed, the sounds of jingle bells behind the mask.

“You know who I am,” They said, voice surprisingly airy and light. Familiar, yet so foriegn. “The real question is ‘Are you ready for me to confirm it?’, because I think that answer is no.”

The Fae gave Cryptic a brief salute, before falling backwards out the window and disappearing below. A moment later, she saw a fluffy cloud shoot up towards the sky, carrying something with dark green wings. 

She stood in her apartment, dumbfounded and milkless. 

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, a small group of mischievous spirits were anxiously staring at an empty spot on a washing machine.

Ringleader spoke up first. “Alright, who lost him?”

No one said a word.

“I’m not mad, I just wanna know.”

“I did,” the Recruiter spoke up, rubbing the back of his neck. “I lost him-”   
  


“No,” Ringleader cut him off, “No you didn’t. Fool?”

“Don’t look at me!” Wise Fool held up her hands, eyes widening a little. “Look at Terry.”

“What? I didn’t lose our spy.”   
  
  
“Huh, that’s weird. How did you even know he was lost?”

The Jester blinked, before frowning. “Because their spot on the washing machine is empty and the jar is gone, I can see that.”

“Suspicious.”

“No, it’s not-”   
  


“If it matters,” Lore Keeper spoke up, holding up a finger, “Probably not, but Selkie was the last one to interact with Fae.”

“What are you implying, Lore Keeper, I didn’t lose Faerie.”

“Then why were you messing with their jar earlier, huh?”

“Fae and I work together outside of LOL, everyone here knows that Lore Keeper. We were talking about work things!”

“Okay everyone calm down, lets not fight, I lost the spy now let me go find them.”

“No, Burrito, you didn’t lose Fae. Who did?”

The room fell silent once more, before Fool spoke up again.

“Durple… Hekate has been awfully quiet.”

Hekate, from across the room, minding their business reading a magazine, looked up. 

“... What? I don’t even go here!”

The room erupted in chaos as everyone started talking over each other. In their distracted state, Ring Leader slipped out the front doors of the laundromat. Sitting on the curb, holding a jug of milk, a certain someone was waiting.

“What did you tell them?” 

Ring Leader smiled.

“Just asked who lost you.”

“Are you ever going to tell them it was you?”

Ring Leader made a face. “Nah.”

“Oh well!” Fae held up the carton. “I stole Crychan’s almond milk.”

“Sweet! Sneak in through the back door. Also, I got you a replacement jar.”

Faerie smiled.

“Perfect.”

  
  



	7. The Story of An Art School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a much more serious chapter... A goodbye, from the League of Lunatics, because of an event that happened. A member had to leave, and this is their goodbye story.
> 
> Times are hard, and there's some recovering to do. But goodbye, Selkie

Selkie’s stay with the League of Lunatics was an interesting one. 

League Members knew Selkie worked with Faerie separate from their organization, sometimes they’d bring back some funny stories. But Selkie seemed as though they were in it to fill time, have some fun while they still can.

Ringleader didn’t really mind that matter, the more souls to bring out chaos the better. Though, thinking back on it, it didn’t seem like Selkie actually participated in any of their public events. Probably because of their involvement with UA, though Fae didn’t seem to be affected much by that fact too. Selkie was pretty content with hanging out in the laundromat, occasionally popping in the back to join a convo or steal a bite of someone’s food. 

It was noted that Fool couldn’t seem to get a cent off Selkie, which was a smug fact Selkie could keep in their back pocket. Ringleader figured it was one of two things; Fool knew better than to steal from someone who worked for the otherside, or Selkie simply didn’t have any money on them at any given point. 

Or a mix of both, seeing as Faerie once pulled a very tiny gun on Fool when she tried to take a penny from his jar. 

Needless to say, Selkie was a nice addition to the League, all the way up until Fae sent the text. 

  
  
  
  


**Sent: 23:30**

**Faerie Baerie**

_ Hey, we need to talk. _

**Sent: 23:34**

**Ringleader Schmingbeader**

_?Sure, what’s up _

  
  


**Sent: 23:35**

**Faerie Baerie**

_ In person? Maybe away from the  _

_ Laundromat, probably from public _

_ too _

  
  


**Sent: 23:37**

**Ringleader Schmingbeader**

_?Yeah, we could just walk a block down _

  
  


**Sent: 23:38**

**Faerie Baerie**

_ Perfect, see you in 10? _

**_Read: 23:38_ **

Ringleader knew Selkie’s involvement with LOL seemed like one for entertainment, and that suspicion was confirmed on a sidewalk near midnight. 

It was uncommon for anyone to see Faerie outside of their usual faesona, though Ringleader wasn’t fazed by it. If anyone, she was the most likely to see him outside of his jar, as a regular person instead of a tiny adorable creature. She knew it was an effect of his quirk, something about ‘needing’ causing manifestation, but she didn’t really poke into it. 

Green hair up in a bun, with his undercut showing. Yellow eyes behind big round glasses, reflecting the light of the street. He was half dressed for a day job at the local post office, which is where the League has access to Cryptic’s mailbox. He seemed a bit skittish, nervous even.

“So… Selkie left UA.”

Ringleader just sat down next to him, on the curb of the road.

“It was an overnight thing, too. They got accepted in an art school up north, one they really wanted to go to. It’s cool, but… they left us and LOL behind.”

“That’s okay.” Ringleader gave him a soft pat on the shoulder. “Do they know Selkie was a part of our league?”

Faerie shook his head. “Lips sealed, for now. I hope they make it big later, though. Would be nice to see them flourish outside of UA, they seemed a bit stressed about it.”

Ringleader gave a quick thumbs up.

“How about we go get some food to bring back to the others?”

Faerie pulled out his little jar from his coat pocket, looking at it. It was a new one, seeing at the last one broke, and it was a touch smaller than the last one. He didn’t seem to mind, as he set it on the ground. She watched as he tapped the lid three times, disappearing in a cloud of mist, before reappearing in the jar. Teal hair and dark green wings were glowing, illuminating the inside as if he were a firefly. 

Ringleader gently picked up the jar and got up.

“So I was thinking about Pizza?”


	8. Thinking about it, Fool would be a scary Weeping Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN ACTUAL PLOT HAS STARTED TO FORM AND NOW ITS A HEADACHE FOR SEVERAL PEOPLE TO FIGURE OUT WHATS CANON

Fool had it down to a science, how she could get away with it all. 

It wasn’t that hard, to pinch a dollar or two from the pockets of passing by people, unaware of her nimble fingers and delicate skills. It was almost amusing how easy it was. 

Well… It’s usually easy.

But Fool has a ‘type’ when it comes to befriending people.

Specifically, people who knew from an instant she was picking their pockets.

And lucky her, she was going to meet someone who’d change her life forever.

“Hey I kinda need that?”

A hand grabbed her arm, the other pulling the bill from her hands. Fool smiled to herself.

“You dropped this.”

The other person just stared at her.

They had purple hair, that's the first thing that stood out. The second thing was the fact that, besides the shorts she just slipped the bill from, the only thing they seemed to be wearing was a trash bag styled like a tunic. They seemed to ooze ‘Fight Me’ energy, but in a very chaotic way.

She liked it. 

“What’s with the look? I returned it, did I not?”

“You pick pocketed me?”

“And?”   
  


The purple haired person straightened the crown atop their head, before frowning.

“Are you a villain?”

Fool pondered the question.

“No.”

“Would you like to be a villain?”

Fool paused.

“What kind of question is that?”

The other didn’t answer.

Fool smiled. “Of course I want to be a villain. Give me your money.”

“I’m trying to recruit you.”

Well that wasn’t expected.

From the wrinkles of their trash bag tunic, they pull out a card. It’s hell to read, it was basically white on white, but Fool could barely make out what it said.

**League of Lunatics: 000 0th Street, Nowhere No Country**

“It’s a valid Address, I promise. If you’re ever interested.”

They left without another word Fool was left standing on the sidewalk, with a godawful card. 

And a Twenty dollar bill she snatched from them last second.


	9. Nif

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i gots a nif! >:3c

“None of you have snack machine rights anymore!”

There were very loud protests as The Tall One huffed, holding an empty wallet.

“Who did it?”

All protests stopped instantly, as the quiet settled in the cracks of the walls. 

Fool smiled to herself, acutely aware of the several wads of bills stuffed in her pockets. 

The League of Lunatics might have only been established for a mere day, but it was all that Fool needed to single handedly pickpocket each and every one of its members. She figured if she were to get caught, she’d sweetly inform them that she’ll be taking care of finances from here on out.

She just needed it for… personal reasons.

The Tall One sunk into her snack machine, wrapping herself up in a blanket. “Note to self, no wallets around new people.” She huffed. “We should actually introduce ourselves, huh?”

Everyone glanced between each other, the quiet not breaking. 

“Fine, I’ll start. Hi, my name is Cipher, I go by Lore Keeper. Contrary to belief, I actually can’t rewrite lives with a journal. My quirk is Showtime, it makes everyone around me cheerful and want to celebrate!”

“Oh that’s cool!” A lady in the corner with a kitsune mask atop her head smiled and pointed finger guns at Cipher (the tall lady). Black hair was messy under the mask, but the glint in her amber eyes showed how uncontainable her chaotic instincts were. “Well I’m Terry, aka Jester. My quirk is Bad Copy Cat, all my clones are a wonderful game of Scramble and it’s sweet.”

“Oh! Hi!” a child popped out of the vents, though it shocked no one. Everyone watched him climb up there, loudly declaring that was his new home. To be fair, they did find him on the street, and he instantly clung to them the moment they offered him some food. It was okay, Fool guessed, at least the kid was going to have a place. “I’m Burrito, or Court, or Gasoline… Or Newbie! Oh, and now Recruiter, I guess. And my quirk is Cyan, it’s basically just Hades’ Hair but it’s not BLUE.”

There were a couple of chuckles, before Fool shrugged, being the last one in the room left.

“My name’s Fool and that’s my quirk is Deception.”

The room waited for an explanation that Fool would never give. Instead, she smiled, and fell silent.

Luckily, they didn’t have to be quiet for long, because their self proclaimed Ring Leader (who owned the laundromat headquarters first, something about Anomaly Inheritance) burst through the door.

“WE HAVE A SPY!” The purple-haired trash bag overlord proudly held a jar up, presenting it with a confidence oversaturated with pride.

The jar looked empty, beyond a twig, some leaves, and several very shiny pennies.

Fool squinted at Ring Leader.

“Looks like an empty jar, Durple.”

Ring Leader brought the jar down, squinting at it.

“... Darn it, did I leave them in the car?”

They took off the lid, frowning and peaking inside. 

“... Is it a camera?” Terry asked, rubbing her hands together. 

“No, the spy is a person… I think I left them in the car.”

With that, Ring Leader set the jar on the floor, keeping the lid in their hand, and left the room in search of this so-called ‘spy’.

Fool already had her doubts about their spy already.

A speck of teal popped up from the lip of the jar, and it took her to realize it was a person.

A very small person. 

They looked around, then the sound of cheerful jiggle bells came from the jar. 

“You’re the League!”

There was a pause of silence, no one sure of what to do.

“I’m Faerie! I already know all of you, though.”

Fool squinted. Was this a spy  _ for _ them… or a spy for  _ them? _

Faerie rose a bit from the jar. Dark green wings fluttered, teal hair pinned up in the world’s smallest bun. She could barely make out the features on their face, they couldn’t have been any taller than 6 or so centimeters.

Burrito waved. 

“Hi Faerie! I can barely see you!”

Faerie waved back.

“Hi Court!”

An eruption of questions flurried from the group, which Fool didn’t pay much attention to. 

She was too busy staring at the shiny pennies in the jar.

… Faerie could use a Fool-proof initiation of a little bit of theft. That was okay enough for Fool. 

She casually got up, not bothering to cover up her movements. No one watched her as she left the room, waiting a few seconds as she mindlessly listened to them talk. She could see Ring Leader across the street, in a taxi, probably looking for a lost spy that wasn’t exactly lost.

She bid her time.

She’s only ever been caught once.

But, as she tried to sneak her hand in the jar, she felt something sharp poke her. And sitting on the lip of the glass, holding a knife in one hand and a gun in the other, Faerie squinted at her.

“My pennies. Back off.”

Fool stared at Faerie. She heard the small click of the gun.

How on earth did they even get a gun?

Fool pulled her hand out of the jar.

“Bad things happen,” Faerie’s voice shifted to something dark, ominous, and terrifying, “when you mess with a faerie’s jar. Wouldn’t want something bad to happen, do we Ceciley?”

Fool paled.

“That’s what I thought. Paws off.”

After that… no one told Ring Leader what happened, but Fool very quickly decided that she wasn’t going to mess with Faerie’s coin stash. 

And, in further conclusion, no one messed with Faerie’s jar… because they still never figured out how they got a gun. 


	10. My Coworker is a bit SUSSSS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> were no strangers to love. you know the rules, and so do i. a full commitments what im thinking of. you wouldnt get this from any other guy. i just wanna tell you how im feeling, gotta make you understand.  
> never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you. never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.   
> weve known each other for so long. your hearts been aching but youre too shy to say it. inside we both know whats been going on. you know the game and were gonna play it. and if you ask me how im feeling, dont tell me youre too blind to see  
> never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you. never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huge thanks to sofi for answering all my sona questions!!! hopefully i can write her a better chapter later on

Sofi’s job brought some interesting things in her life… Like, for example, the mailbox with the neon smiley face stickers with the lady who seemed pretty tired of getting mail.

“Ma’am?”

Soft white mouse ears twitched in her direction, atop soft blue hair pulled into a bun. 

“Are… you okay?”

“...What is okay?” Her voice was frayed, defeated, and overall tired. “I have no clue if I’m going to adopt them or strangle them with a ruler.”

Sometimes Sofi wondered why she took a post office job. Then she remembered it was the only job that let her take night classes for her journalism degree. 

Things were interesting for the blue eyed girl, even in a world of quirks. While she sat behind the counters of the post office, twirling her brown and purple hair between her fingers and separating the curls, she’d watch people come in and out. Always focused on the one neon inbox.

She wanted to know what was so interesting about that inbox. 

“Can… Can I see what it says?” She leaned forward, against the counter, her red tie for work getting pinched between her light blue top and the cold polished wood. 

Defeated, the mousy lady handed over the letter.

Sofi stared at a sheet printed in numbers. 

_ 01010011 01101000 01100101 00100111 01110011 00100000 01100111 01101111 01110100 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110011 01101101 01101001 01101100 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01110011 01100101 01100101 01101101 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101101 01100101 00001010 01010010 01100101 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100100 01110011 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100011 01101000 01101001 01101100 01100100 01101000 01101111 01101111 01100100 00100000 01101101 01100101 01101101 01101111 01110010 01101001 01100101 01110011 00001010 01010111 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 01111001 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110011 00100000 01100110 01110010 01100101 01110011 01101000 00100000 01100001 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100010 01110010 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100 00100000 01100010 01101100 01110101 01100101 00100000 01110011 01101011 01111001 00001010 01001110 01101111 01110111 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01101110 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100101 01101110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110011 01100101 01100101 00100000 01101000 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100110 01100001 01100011 01100101 00001010 01010011 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110100 01100001 01101011 01100101 01110011 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110111 01100001 01111001 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01110011 01110000 01100101 01100011 01101001 01100001 01101100 00100000 01110000 01101100 01100001 01100011 01100101 00001010 01000001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101001 01100110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110011 01110100 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 01101111 00100000 01101100 01101111 01101110 01100111 00101100 00100000 01001001 00100111 01100100 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101111 01100010 01100001 01100010 01101100 01111001 00100000 01100010 01110010 01100101 01100001 01101011 00100000 01100100 01101111 01110111 01101110 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100011 01110010 01111001 00001010 01010111 01101000 01101111 01100001 00101100 00100000 01101111 01101000 00101100 00100000 01101111 01101000 00001010 01010011 01110111 01100101 01100101 01110100 00100000 01100011 01101000 01101001 01101100 01100100 00100000 01101111 00100111 00100000 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100101 00001010 01010111 01101000 01101111 01100001 00101100 00100000 01101111 01101000 00101100 00100000 01101111 01101000 00101100 00100000 01101111 01101000 00001010 01010011 01110111 01100101 01100101 01110100 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100101 00001010 01010011 01101000 01100101 00100111 01110011 00100000 01100111 01101111 01110100 00100000 01100101 01111001 01100101 01110011 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100010 01101100 01110101 01100101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110011 01101011 01101001 01100101 01110011 00001010 01000001 01110011 00100000 01101001 01100110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01111001 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101111 01110101 01100111 01101000 01110100 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110010 01100001 01101001 01101110 00001010 01001001 00100111 01100100 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101100 01101111 01101111 01101011 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101111 01110011 01100101 00100000 01100101 01111001 01100101 01110011 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110011 01100101 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01101111 01110101 01101110 01100011 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110000 01100001 01101001 01101110 00001010 01001000 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101000 01100001 01101001 01110010 00100000 01110010 01100101 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100100 01110011 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110010 01101101 00100000 01110011 01100001 01100110 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101100 01100001 01100011 01100101 00001010 01010111 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100011 01101000 01101001 01101100 01100100 00100000 01001001 00100111 01100100 00100000 01101000 01101001 01100100 01100101 00001010 01000001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110000 01110010 01100001 01111001 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01110101 01101110 01100100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110010 01100001 01101001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110001 01110101 01101001 01100101 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01101000 00101100 00100000 01101111 01101000 00001010 01010011 01110111 01100101 01100101 01110100 00100000 01100011 01101000 01101001 01101100 01100100 00100000 01101111 00100111 00100000 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100101 00001010 01010111 01101000 01101111 01100001 00101100 00100000 01101111 01101000 00101100 00100000 01110111 01101000 01101111 01100001 00101100 00100000 01101111 01101000 00001010 01010011 01110111 01100101 01100101 01110100 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100101 00001010 01010111 01101000 01101111 01100001 00101100 00100000 01101111 01101000 00101100 00100000 01101111 01101000 00101100 00100000 01101111 01101000 00001010 01010011 01110111 01100101 01100101 01110100 00100000 01100011 01101000 01101001 01101100 01100100 00100000 01101111 00100111 00100000 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100101 00001010 01001111 01101111 01101000 00101100 00100000 01111001 01100101 01100001 01101000 00001010 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00100000 01100001 01111001 00001010 01010111 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100100 01101111 00100000 01110111 01100101 00100000 01100111 01101111 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110111 00111111 00001010 01000001 01101000 00101101 01100001 01101000 00001010 01010111 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100100 01101111 00100000 01110111 01100101 00100000 01100111 01101111 00111111 00001010 01001111 01101000 00101100 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100100 01101111 00100000 01110111 01100101 00100000 01100111 01101111 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110111 00111111 00001010 01001111 01101000 00101100 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100100 01101111 00100000 01110111 01100101 00100000 01100111 01101111 00111111 00001010 01001111 01101000 00101100 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100100 01101111 00100000 01110111 01100101 00100000 01100111 01101111 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110111 00111111 00001010 01010111 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100100 01101111 00100000 01110111 01100101 00100000 01100111 01101111 00111111 00001010 01001111 01101000 00101100 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100100 01101111 00100000 01110111 01100101 00100000 01100111 01101111 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110111 00111111 00001010 01001110 01101111 01110111 00101100 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110111 00101100 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110111 00101100 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110111 00101100 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110111 00101100 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110111 00101100 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110111 00001010 01010011 01110111 01100101 01100101 01110100 00100000 01100011 01101000 01101001 01101100 01100100 00001010 01010011 01110111 01100101 01100101 01110100 00100000 01100011 01101000 01101001 01101100 01100100 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100101  _

  
  


Sofi decided, after that, to never ask the tired mouse lady about the mail.

Instead, she wouldn’t question it when her green haired co worker looked the other way as children slipped notes in the inbox, stifling a laugh from time to time like it amused him. 

She’ll take her notes another time. But for now… she’ll let reality stay broken. 


	11. Albert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Albert ******

* * *

Court stared at the busted cardboard box on the sidewalk curb, just a few blocks away from the laundromat.

There didn't seem to be anything overtly concerning about the package, though curious hands pried at the flaps at the top. Bright red ink had bled down the sides, the giant FRAGILE signs smeared from rain (probably).

Upon opening it, he discovered a perfect gumball machine. It was about 4 feet or so tall, already filled with shiny gumballs the size of quarters. The paint along the body was purple and white chevrons, clean and crisp like they were just painted today.

Court tapped the glass orb, just to test it's integrity. He didn't expect to hear a small mrr in response come from inside. 

"Hello?"

"H... Hello?" The machine echoed.

Court lit up.

" You're alive?!"

"You're alive." The machine's tiny gumball flap flittered in response. Court didn't notice the inside was painted red. 

"You don't have a home, do you?"

"Don't have a home," it repeated.

"What if I gave you a home?"

The machine paused, then suddenly the gumballs stirred. At once, they all blinked open into many tiny eyeballs. 

Court glanced at the box. That red ink was starting to look less like _ink_ and more like something else...

He turned back to the machine. "You'd fit right in at home."

"Home?"

"Home!" Court nodded. The machine made a small mrring sound and scooted forward. 

"Home!" It repeated happily. 

So now a gumball machine painted purple with white chevrons sits in the corner of the laundromat. If you look closely, you'll see it watching you.

Don't ask why the carpet beneath it is red... You might be the next reason. 


	12. Found Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens  
> Bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens  
> Brown paper packages tied up with strings  
> These are a few of my favorite things  
> Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels  
> Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles  
> Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings  
> These are a few of my favorite things.  
> Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes  
> Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes  
> Silver white winters that melt into springs  
> These are a few of my favorite things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just so you know: Albert has Miku Voice.

“His name is Albert!”

The room stared at the child in front of them. Recruiter’s smile painted his face, suspiciously innocent under his halo of dark green hair. A wave of uneasiness rippled through the faces of the 5 other members, one of which decided to sit at the bottom of his jar in Jester’s hands. 

“I… It’s a gumball machine?” Lore Keeper glanced back at Recruiter.

“He talks though.”

“Burrito it what?” Fool stared at the oddly tall gumball machine. From it’s position in the middle of the ‘lobby’, it was relatively normal. It wasn’t moving, nor was it making any sounds.

It seemed like a normal gumball machine.

“Yup! He wanted a home. I think he ate a person, though.”

“A gumball machine did what?”

“His name is Albert, Fool.”

“Sure.”

Court frowned and glanced at everyone. A jingle came from the jar, Faerie fluttering to life. Muffled, from the inside, he spoke up.

“Court I think that’s a demon, bud.” Faerie tapped the lid of his jar. “I think he’s a demon gumball machine.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t doubt that.”

“Are… Are demons even… even real?” Jester looked down at Faerie. 

“Of course they’re real. Why wouldn’t they be real?”

There was a moment of silence.

“Cool, so we have a demon in our laundromat now.” Ring Leader clapped her hands together. “As long as he doesn’t eat us, and doesn’t scare off too many customers, I don’t see a problem with this.”

Fool’s eyes lit up. “Oh, can it help me scam customers for more money?!”

There was a small mrring sound, before a gumball within the machine opened itself to reveal an eyelid. “Help me!” 

Fool’s look quickly turned into a creeped out uneasiness, her eyes showing her nervousness as they widened. 

“Y… yea, wanna help me out?”

“Help Me Out!”  


Fool made a small noise of something akin to light fear.

Recruiter hummed and patted the glass top of the machine. “See, I told you you’d fit in?”

The noises coming from the machine were oddly like a mechanical cat purr. 

“Oh my god that’s cute.” Faerie placed his hands on the glass of his jar, floating about halfway up. 

“Cute!”

“You sure are, bud!”

“Bud! Bud!”

Jester’s eyes lit up a little.

“Oh. Awh you really are kinda cute.”

The gumball machine made whirring sounds, before the room filled with sounds of delighted beeps. Recruiter smiled brightly.

“Hell yea.”

Lore Keeper side eyed everyone. “I’m… gonna go back to hibernation.”

“Have fun, Cipher!” Ring Leader waved goodbye as Lore Keeper navigated her way back to the vending machine she adores and practically lives in. 

Jester and Faerie decided to get much closer to ‘Albert’, which Recruiter was very happy about. Ring Leader and Fool on the other hand…

Fool pulled Ring Leader off to the side, in the small office she usually sits in and watches customers from. 

“Are we really going to have a demon gumball machine?”

Ring Leader shrugged. 

“I don’t see why not?”

“What about the new recruits? Our second generation? What will they do if they saw a demonic gumball machine?”

Their eyes met as they shared the same thought, almost like a telekinetic link. Together, they both shared a grin of mischief. 

“I mean, I don’t see a problem with Gen 2 meeting Albert.”

“Neither do I, Durple.”   
  


“Maybe he’ll be our new final test,” Fool twirled her finger in the air in a matter-of-factly way. “You know, like the Judge? We’ll be the jury, but Albert… Well, if he needs to be fed…”

“Maybe a little too dark but I like your thinking.”

“They wanna be let in, yes? I think today is a great idea!”

Ring Leader slid the little glass window to peek out into the only public room of the laundromat. Faerie was zipping about, still only a few centimeters tall. Yet he was out of his jar and flying circles around ‘Albert’, jingle bells ringing over the mechanical mrr of the gumball demon. Several more eyes had appeared in the machine, some floating in the half empty space of the glass orb. 

One eye made contact with Ring Leader, who gave a thumbs up when she noticed. She then shut the window and looked back at Fool, who was holding the former’s wallet.

“Really?”

“Taxes need to be paid.”

Ring Leader sighed. 

“Sure. Sure they do. Not like half or more of us are wanted for Tax Fraud.”

“I’m fairly certain that Faerie doesn’t count as a person, therefore they couldn’t commit tax fraud… right?”

Ring Leader just stared at Fool with her eyebrows scrunched together, frowning softly. 

“... Anyways, we should go see if those new generation kids can last against a demon gumball machine who asked me to ‘let him out’.”

And with that, Fool walked out of her office and made a dramatic entrance back into the room. Ring Leader followed right behind her, still frowning a little from the taxes comment. 

Faerie was holding a gumball the size of his body. It was bright green in colour, and looked fairly normal if not for the fact everyone knew it was an eyeball. He was laughing, jingle bells of delight echoing in the lobby area. 

Well, lobby didn’t describe it. It was just a bunch of free walking space between the waiting chairs by the windows and the rows of washers and dryers on the other side of the room. It was maybe 25 feet by 30 feet, from where the chairs ended to where the machines began. It wasn’t that big, but it was enough for small-time League meetings when the backroom got too hot or too cold from bad insulation and the constant ventilation from the dryers. 

Faerie zipped up in the air, fluttering around Ring Leader and Fool’s heads while presenting the gumball proudly. Luckily, no one had to witness it opening into an eye, but it was still oddly funny to see the tiny creature holding a demonic item. Fool didn’t seem to really appreciate it, paling at the sight of the gumball free from it’s glass casing. Nevertheless, she spoke up with a delightful customer service voice. 

“We think the new members should meet Albert too! As a hazing moment.”

Eyes turned to Fool, with mixed emotions.

“Are we recruiting Albert as an official member?” Jester was still holding Faerie’s jar, not nearly as uneasy as before. Actually, judging by the room, everyone could tell that Fool was the only one left bothered by Albert’s presence, though she hid it well behind her natural mask of a smile. 

“Um… more like a resident?” Fool offered.    
  


Ring Leader shrugged once more, gently patting Faerie’s tiny little head. There was a chorus of bells, almost like laughter. 

“Maybe not an official member since we probably don’t want a demonic gumball machine running around causing havoc. However, part of the League’s family?”

There was a wave of very excited mechanical mrring. 

“Family!”

Fool’s smile eased, and her shoulders relaxed a little. Considering Albert could have repeated any part of that statement, it must have been nice to hear the machine not decide to say ‘Havoc’ or ‘Don’t Want’. 

“Yea… Family.”

“Soo what about the new members and hazing them?”

Fool shrugged, letting her hands fall to her sides.

“Well if Albert is demonic, then he probably knows if a person is actually honest about wanting to join the League, right? We could weasel out any of Cryptic’s poor attempts at recruiting spies again.”   
  


There was a shared moment of silence as the group quietly remembered the time poor Birdie tried to gain their way into the League on bartering for a double spy situation. Faerie had been the one to rat the child out, and their heart was in… a strangely heartwarming place. But, ultimately, they had to say no. 

There was a moment of pondering, before murmurs of agreement spread throughout the official members. Albert’s mrring didn’t change, he still seemed pretty hooked and excited about having a family.

It led most of them to wonder how lonely he had been, and for how long. Or maybe if that was just the nature of demons in general, seeing as usually they’re not adorable and delighted. 

Maybe he was just a little different. 


	13. The Rancher

They say The Rancher is good luck when they come around these parts. They kick the dust off the tip of their boots as they stroll along the sidewalks of this small town.

Rumours have it they've been around for a long time. Some elders of the town whisper to each other about how they'd went to highschool with The Rancher, but so do the young teenage girls who just graduated.

Everyone knows The Rancher.

Except for Cryptic. 

They first met each other at the town well, where The Rancher tipped their pompom widebrim hat at the mousy girl

"You aint from 'round here, are you?"

Barely out of highschool, the mousy girl looked over with a weary eye.

"These folks here call me The Rancher... I'm sure you'll fit in..."

Everyone knows the Rancher, and that day Cryptic met them... and got a gift.

A pair of dainty gloves, stained purple from berry picking. They told her something. 

"If you're ever tired, some old gods wouldn't mind if you'd pay a visit to the farm."

_Everyone Knows The Rancher_


	14. Sugar Plum Fairy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shut up im sitting in a dennys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oracle belongs to vigilantedekus

"B...Babe what... The fuck?"

Faerie looked up from the kitchen sink, bent over. Their black shirt was half soaked with water, clinging to their skin. Their eyes widened.

"Mental breakdown?"

Pink eyes just stared at them.

"You died your hair like last week."

"Okay and?" They pushed the three or so bottles of dye away from the sink so they could see who they were talking to better. "I have an actual reason for this."

"And what's that?"

"Well, Oracle, you see... Thank you for asking!" They grabbed a towel and rubbed their hair until it was slightly damp and not soaking. The white fabric turned a vibrant and brilliant plum shade. "It's a pun."

Oracle squint. 

"What's the pun, it's just a bottle of plum dy- oh."

Faerie snickered.

"Sugar Plum Fairy, babe."

Oracle shook their head. "Okay then."

**Author's Note:**

> [Join Broken Reality and see if you're fit to be Permavaulted](https://discord.com/invite/63zZzdS)   
> 


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